Sometimes we need to set boundaries to help us. It is a good idea to be aware of where you feel you need to place a boundary to help you feel safe and to help with the healing process. If we have been through trauma of any kind, boundaries can help us to have a feeling that we are safe and that we are not in any situation that has us overwhelmed.
We must also be aware of where we have perceived places in our lives that are actually safe, and we must slowly choose to relinquish boundaries so we can grow. Facing your fears is a vital part of being a thriving human being. Being aware of situations where you actually are safe, and thinking rationally about these situations, can help to know when to move past a boundary and to be able to build strength and release fear.
The way to know when you are safe in a situation is based in three aspects:
You feel safe about the situation even though your mind may be making up all kinds of stuff. If you intuitively feel safe, and you feel safe on that level, then you can go to the rational mind and the emotions and self soothe so you know you are actually okay.
You rationally know you are safe. If you know you are safe by observing the situation, you can let go of the mind and emotions, and move into the situation with courage and assuredness, knowing you are safe.
Look at what you are feeling and thinking and finding the root cause of why you may be thinking or feeling the way you do, and then go within and do the inner work of feeling through the emotions. This can help you in the long-term and may not be something you can do in an instant, but will be something that you will have to bookmark for when you have some time to do the meditation and healing. Working through the emotional and mental wounds that you have will bring you towards more wholeness, and you will have in easier time in the future.
The way to be able to manage this part of your life will come easier the more you do it.
There are ways to be able to move past boundaries, whilst knowing you are safe, and this comes with practice.
As a first step, when you notice you are in a situation where your mind and emotions are running wild, and you are thinking you are unsafe, go to the three points I made and check in with yourself and see if you are genuinely feeling unsafe, or if it is just in the mind.
This will come to you and you will be able to remember what I have said here, and then you can use the process I have outlined here, and the opportune moment will come when you are able to move past that boundary that you have, and begin to fill yourself with more courage and confidence.
Looking towards the future, if you use this process to build strength, you will start to overcome your fears, and you will grow.
This is something you can use any time to begin to build that courage and self confidence, and in the exploration of who you are, you will be able to expand and grow and meet new opportunities with more self confidence and courage.
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